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Chaos: Whenever you roll Chaos, creatures target opponent controls dont untap during their controllers next untap step

Im sure the offspring ability has some use, especially with cards that dont particularly care about their power and toughness

If you're looking for a Pokmon TCG card to invest in before it gets to over $1,000 raw*, Pikachu with Grey Felt Hat is a solid bet right now

Green and black have many ways to sacrifice lands and profit from that too, like The Gitrog Monster, or cards that let you play lands from your graveyard, like Icetill Explorer

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Cards like Weapons Manufacturing generate the snacks you need, but for the ultimate meme, try combining Liquimetal Coating with creature theft