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(And the Menace doesn't gain you any life, dorks are untapped, and you can't madness for more later.) At least Conqueror's Pledge gives you the chance to kick it for double tokens, not even Bestial Menace can do that

Although perhaps a more rounded dork than Scrapheap Scrounger it plays into red which is probably your biggest fear in cube

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There are loads of ways to do so, but perhaps the best way is through counterspells

The full texts of these abilities are "At the beginning of the monarch's end step, that player draws a card" and "Whenever a creature deals combat damage to the monarch, its controller becomes the monarch." If the triggered ability that causes the monarch to draw a card goes on the stack and a different player becomes the monarch before that ability resolves, the first player will still draw the card